The worst things in life are the ones where you can't control them, or don't even have the option too. Most things in life you have some say in it. Drugs, let's say you chose to take them and maybe you're addicted but it's youre choice to keep going and not get help. Lying, you chose to lie and you have to live with the guilt, but it was your choice. Pregnancy, you can't neccesarily control getting pregnant to an extent, but you can chose what you do from that point forward, keeping the baby (abortion/adoption), raising the baby and being a good mother and doing what's best for the child. School, to an extent it's youre choice, are you going to stay enrolled, are you going to do youre homework and study, are you going to get the best education so you're future will be easier? But the one thing you can't control is death.
Over the past few weeks things have been crazy. My beloved step grandma had a stroke and is on a roller coaster of if she is going to make it or not. A week after her stroke, one of my very close friend's brother passed. Though I didn't know him well I knew him and had memories of him and I was obviously sad. My more pain was for her since I have a brother and couldn't imagine losing him, and because with death in the air my mind was in the same state as hers. Currently my grandma is still hanging and hopefully will be strong and pull through. There's nothing I can do about it and that's the worst part. All I can do is hope for the best. I would say she's in my prays, but (and please don't judge me) I fail to believe in god with my past and just hope that the universe knows what there doing in making this amazing lady suffer.
To all of you who have lost a loved one you understand how powerless you feel in a situation like this. And I can't help but recall that night before where it was the first time I ever took of the locket she gave me, and then the next morning this happened. I know it wasn't my fault, but it still shakes me up.
Well lots of love to all <3
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