SCREAM

Broken and breaking my whole life is shaking,
What am I to do?
Each turn I make does no good to me.
I end up the same as before.
My heart gets torn, my eyes get full,
of hot burning tears.
I try and I try,
but it's never enough.
Because everything I do isn't for me.
I do it for you my little boy.
I do it for you my pride and joy.
One day It will all make sense,
but until then I'm stuck crying in sin.
I'll lock my door like I did before,
and cry, so peacefully to sleep.

Yes; a little sinister and not my best poetry since it was pretty much a rhyming vent. I'm sitting here crying my eyes out in all honesty because life's hard. I'm not going to lie and sugar coat; it's fucking hard. When you get pregnant at 16 you have to grow up fast. You can't party, can't date (you can but its complicated), can't go a day without worrying about your baby, can't spend your money on what YOU want, can't stay out all night, can't do anything you use to be able to do. I spend my time at work and school and sleeping and the other 1% trying to still be a 16 year old.

I advise you NOT to get pregnant at 16 (dont get me wrong my baby boy already means the world to me). Obviously I didn't plan this. I did what I could to prevent it, but things happen. And like i said I won't sugar coat it; it sucks. You cry out your eyes and no matter how many tears fall there is no fairy god mother coming to make it better. Reality bites you in the butt and you're done, you grow up and move on. And may I say reality bites HARD.

Within all honesty if the babys father was around I feel this would be easier since it wouldn't all be on me, but theres no chance in hell of that happening so its me against the world, better hold on tight.